Schismatic Pandemonium: Things Heard When They Think They're Alone

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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Things Heard When They Think They're Alone

So we're in the Dollar Store or Dollar General or somewhere that is cheap anyway, my wife calls it slummin', and I'm looking at the jersy work gloves when I hear what sounds like a seam-rippin', cheek burnin', full tilt on razberry fart from the next aisle. Nah, I think. One of those kids in here just makin' noises trying to make his siblings laugh.

Then I hear a woman's voice:"Oh my god, move on that's rank". Man's voice: "Bet you thought I was gonna hold it in, huh?"

By the sound of their voices she was right behind him when he purged. Luckily for me the aisle divider was was high enough that I didn't suffer the rankness, but then I didn't stick around that aisle much longer to find out. Just grabbed me a couple pairs of $1 gloves and went off to find Mrs. Dan O.

Kinda sounds like something I might do. Hey, Mom always said "Better out than in".