Sears Is Now On My "Do Not Shop" List

Notice to Sears and any other retailer who may in the future wish to keep me as a customer:

A retail purchase involving cash or credit card, DOES. NOT. REQUIRE. ANY. PERSONAL INFORMATION to be provided.

If you want to see additional I.D. for the credit card purchase, that is fine. I have 2 state-issued picture I.D.'s that I will provide for you. BUT, you DO NOT NEED my phone number or address for a retail transaction to take place. There are many other retailers who DO NOT require anything more than a "Will that be all for you today?" in order for me to hand them cash or credit card in exchange for merchandise. THOSE are the retailers who will be getting my business.

Walked into Sears at the Midway Mall in Elyria, Ohio on Saturday having already researched which lawn mower I wanted and checking stock online. As I was looking for it amongst the mowers on display, a salesperson walked up to me, no surprise there, and asked if she could help me.

I pulled my notebook out of my pocket and said, "Yes, I'm looking for this lawn mower", showing her the model number I had written down. "That's it right there. Do you have any questions?"  I answered, "No, I already did all my research." I really just wanted to get a look at it in person before I bought it.

At this point she walked towards a checkout saying she would check stock. I followed her, already pulling out my credit card since I knew it was in-stock.


As I approached the checkout, the beginning of the end of my shopping days at Sears began.

SD(Sales Dork): "Will that be on your Sears' charge?"

Me (standing there with my MC held out for her to take): "No, MasterCard."

SD: "Your phone number?"

Me (getting disgusted already at this now too familiar retail dance):" 440-NNN-NNNN."

SD: "Cliff SomethingNotEvenCloseToMyFuckingName?"

Me (still holding out my MC): "Nope. Not even close."

SD: "Name?"

Me (knowing I just gave all this shit back in November when I bought our treadmill and was in a more cooperative mood): "Dan O."

SD: "Address?"

Me (still fucking holding out my MC): "You don't need all that, just take my card."

Mrs. Dan O (knowing I'm getting ready to go off on this unsuspecting sales fuck): "Give our home number."

Me: "Fine. NNN-NNNN.

SD: "That doesn't come up either."

Me (now I'm getting pissed): "That's not my problem. We gave you all of that like 6 months ago. If you lost it, too bad. You don't need it anyway." (Thrusting my MC at her one more fucking time) "Here."

SD: "We need it for the warranty."

Me (having not just fallen off the turnip truck): "I'll have my receipt for the warranty. You want it for marketing. Every time I give this info out I get more phone calls and junk mail." I didn't even mention the identity theft angle. The more often it's out there, the more chances for theft. And in this instance, the info isn't necessary.

SD (getting nervous realizing she's not dealing with typical retail sheep): "Oh no, sir. We don't do that. Do you belong to our rewards club (or some such shit). If so that's why you're getting that stuff."

Me (now knowing I will not be getting this lawn mower): "Bullshit! No, we don't belong to any "clubs" and don't tell me you don't use this for marketing. Look, I'm not trying to come down on you personally, but this is all bullshit.

SD (Doe, meet headlights): "Well, we at least need a phone number so you can pick up your merchandise out back."

Me (wondering how stupid Sears execs really think I am. What the fuck is the receipt for if not to pick up the merchandise? Putting my MC back in wallet): "You know what? I don't need this lawn mower." (Now walking away past another salesman and his customers) "Keep your goddamned lawn mower if you don't want my fucking money!"

And after grocery shopping, went to Home Depot. Bought an MTD Yard Machines lawn mower with the same Briggs and Stratton Engine. $20 cheaper. And used the savings to buy a 2 year replacement warranty.

Fuck  Sears.