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Saturday, January 31, 2015

I'll Show You How To Walk The Dog

Briskly! When it's 5F(ucking) degrees out. Foster dog is spoiled. When overnight or daytime temps are below 25F I let him inside. Which means taking him out every few hours to let him turn the snow yellow & brown and to remind him why I'm letting him stay inside when his testicles shrivel.

Doing this chore after drinking straight bourbon for 3 hours is some what of a challenge on the ice and snow. I've so far managed to stay on my feet, but I imagine it 's a AFV moment for any neighbors who may happen to peer out their windows at just the right moment.

On the weekend especially, I like to make the last bourbon ballet as late as possible to allow me the luxury of sleeping in before the morning excursion out in the frigid frontier.

I will be strongly recommending a return to rightful owner before the next season of sub-freezing temps. I prefer to remain inside myself on such cold nights. I'm too old for this shit.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Having Fun In Public or Why It's Fun To Be Me


Mrs. Dan O and I were at Sam's Club one night last week and there was a wares hawker at the end of the lotions & potions aisle.

She came up to us, greeted us, then said, "Put your wrist out."

Mrs. Dan O told her not if it had anything to do with perfume because she has asthma & allergies. The lady said "No nothing like that.", but then looked at me and said "How about you, will you stick your wrist out?"

I asked warily, looking suspiciously around behind her, "Why do you have handcuffs?"
She smiled, let out a little laugh and said, "No. I don't have any handcuffs."

I replied, "Then what fun is that?" and walked away.

DeflateGate; SOTU;DOJ/FBI on Ferguson

DeflateGate: Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?! This bullshit dominated the airwaves this week. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?! Who fucking cares about football air pressures? Not even an interesting diversion from the real serious things that should be talked about. I wouldn't know Tom Brady from a dog turd on the sidewalk, Bill No-Personality Belichick means nothing to me. Ban them both from the Super Bowl for all I care. Or don't. Football air pressure? SERIOUSLY?! Fuck!

SOTU: Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?! Anyone who still cares what the Piece-of-Shit in-Chief has to say is a fucking bigger idiot than Obama himself. The son of a bitch is the dumbest educated fuck on the planet. Why someone hasn't...never mind, I won't finish that thought. At least not in print.

The DOJ/FBI on Ferguson: If you needed yet another autopsy and investigation to conclude the same as the previous 2 (3?), you are as stupid and ignorant as that fucking waste of flesh Al Not-So-Sharpton.  Fuck him and fuck you.

How am I doing so far? The top 3 stories this whole week were nonsense. Pure, fucking, ignorant nonsense.

Mean while, in Cleveland, police officers shot at while investigating violent aggravated burglary and took suspects into custody barely made LOCAL news. Never mind national news. Why? Because only the suspects fired their weapons. AT the police. And the police DIDN'T fire back. So, that's not news.